I am not Mother of the Year. And although I like to sometimes dress like a 50s housewife, I am no June Cleaver. I once drew a total blank when asked what year Harlowe was born. I've fed my kids cereal for dinner and pizza for breakfast. When potty training Max, he ran out of clean underwear so I threw on a pair of Harlowe's (sorry about that, buddy). I raised Sage to think she is descended from a troll bloodline. Last week I forgot about early dismissal and in doing so, forgot about Max. I tell my kids all about Red Bow-Tie Day; a day when parents can place a red bow-tie on misbehaving children, put'em on a corner and the Orphan Wagon will cart them off. Note to Parents: Your welcome for that one.
But after checking out some of the stellar parenting over at Why The F**ck Do You Have a Kid, I'm feeling alright about myself. Actually, I'm feeling pretty damn spectacular.
WARNING: What you are about to see may cause you to throw up in your mouth
I don't know if this is a bachelor party or a kid's birthday party. I don't know if the semi-nude woman pouring alcohol down her breasts is the stripper or the mother. Either way, it's not me.
Nothing says I Love You like a salmonella slide. I'm sure this little girl just wanted a brother or sister to play with.
And from the looks of this picture, her dreams of sharing her tortured and tragic childhood will be coming true in about nine months. What I want to know is what idiot stood there and took this picture?
One word: GoodGodPeople!